Pastor Terry Carwford
Covenant Church
Shepherdstown, WV
The terms father, mother, son, daughter, brother are emotionally attached. I don’t Care is the most harmful lie you can tell yourself about family.
The most dangerous lie you can tell yourself about family relationships: I don’t care.
I used to care but I got tired, it wore me out. It was emotionally too hard.
I don’t want to talk about it when it comes to her or him. You were born to care. If you don’t care then there is something wrong with you. But you haven’t heard my sad story, there is something wrong with him/her. Yeah there probably is something wrong with them to.
There is a big old bungee cord attached to your family. When you are older, that cord jerks you back to the past. You’re suddenly flooded with emotions about what happened to say I don’t care. The problem is you are now living with other people and your angry. Your frustrated. Your perfectionistic tendencies are out of control. Your drinking or self medicating and you’re blaming the people closest to you.
A lot of the pain comes from our relationships with our Fathers. No matter how old you are you always feel 8 years old around your dad. For some reason you care what they say. You can say you don’t care, but you do.
You were created to care.
Talking to those of you who are Christians. Specifically to you about continually or beginning to reconcile with that family member you are estranged from. As followers of Jesus, we don’t have an excuse to shut down. Whatever the reason.
I’m not a bible person, don’t know about my faith. I’m not sure how this message applies to you specifically. I think in generally you were born to care too. When it comes to family, the tension, the drama, the pain, the past, this is a losing battle that’s worth fighting because of what happens inside of you.
As Christians we are bound to this, we have to do this. Everybody else this is an option. The reason you can’t live with the” I don’t care” attitude is that Christ’s love for us compels us to love.
Christ’s love compels us to reconcile with our family.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15
For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
One died for all, all died. All who died, who no longer live for themselves. Christ did for you what was uncomfortable for you and compels us to do the same.
Passionate followers of Jesus no longer live for themselves.
2 Corinthians 5:16-20
So now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ Jesus, the new creation has come. The old has passed away, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled with God.
Your entire life is to be a message that says to the people in the world. Do you know that you can be reconciled to God? The good news is God has removed every obstacle, he cleared out your sin, bad attitude, even future sins, God has sent the invitation to you and is waiting for you to say yes. Reconciliation is in spite of.
We are done with some family members, because of, because of, but
Reconciliation is not “because of” but “in spite of”.
We carry the message of reconciliation. We are Christ’s ambassadors.
Here is what we are saying if we don’t lead a life of reconciliation.
You can be reconciled to God in spite of your sin, but you can’t be reconciled to me because of your sin.
I have standards. They are higher than God’s. Who reconciled me in spite of my sins. You died to yourself, remember. Jesus said to yes to you, so you can now say yes to him. He said no to himself for your sake, so you can say no to yourself for his sake.
You can give up on your relationship with your father, when your heavenly Father gives up on you. (shot to the heart, your to blame). In spite of, not because of.
Objections!!!
I’m just supposed to overlook all of the stuff? Reconciliation isn’t about working through the issues. It’s not about totally understanding each other. Its not about getting it all worked out, condemning, controlling, convincing. Reconciliation is about writing a letter and giving an update. Having a cup of coffee and talking about nothing in particular.
While you were still a sinner, Christ died for you.
If I start going over there, it will look like I’m condoning the relationship, their behavior. If that really happens, then you are more like Jesus than you thought. But most are just hiding behind that excuse. I don’t want other to get the wrong impression.
Christ moved into your life in spite of your sin.
Romans 5:8
But God demonstrated his love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us.
It’s not going to work. It will work on you. You open up and send the invite or picture. My attempt to reconcile became the epicenter of my adult life. There are still elephants in the room, its still awkward and not perfect.
Who have you said this about in your family? (I don’t Care). Imitate your heavenly father and move toward reconciliation because Christ’s love compels you.
We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled with God.
Questions for action:
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